GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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