You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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