The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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