Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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