just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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