thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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