Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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