just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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