oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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