Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Two words: nipple clamps
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