i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize