Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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