Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize