We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize