it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize