And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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