all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize