Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Randomize