Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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