I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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