I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize