True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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