batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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