If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize