I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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