Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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