He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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