remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize