yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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