"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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