I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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