she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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