I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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