drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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