i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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