There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize