ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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