none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
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your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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