my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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