Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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