Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ttyl tear gas
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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