i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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