so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
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on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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