i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
bring money and cleavage
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need water and some morals
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
