Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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