i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize