just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
false alarm, still single
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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