She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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