I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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