If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize